Hello all,
As the pope of the holy Church of Hilbert I have decided to take it upon myself to educate you all of the greatness that is Lord Hilbert.
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Roughly 17 years ago a woman named "Hilbert's Mom" received a visitor. This visitor was none other than the deity Arceus himself. The god spoke not a word as he entered the woman's bedroom as she slept and touched the woman's inflated stomach with his heavenly hand (hoof?) thereby granting the child, not yet born, eternal power and righteousness. Nine months later our savior was born into the world and named Hilbert. As the recovering mother grasped her child and looked into his beautiful brown eyes, the boy uttered not a "goo", nor a "ga", but a full sentence.
"Hello mother, thank you for birthing me, but I must go."
Realizing she was face to face with a newborn and incredibly powerful deity, Hilbert's Mom haulted her confused gasping and responded. "Where will you go, my son?" she asked
Lord Hilbert shut his eyes for a moment and reopened them thereafter to reply.
"Mother, there is much for me to do. I would love to fill you in, but I am no longer interested in this conversation."
With that, the newborn divine being walked off and began his quest for knowledge and understanding of the world. Little did he know, being a god meant that he was already blessed with more sage wisdom than any man, woman, or pokemon could ever dream of.
Time passed and Hilbert chose three disciples who he deemed worthy to grace his presence with: Cheren the sagacious, Bianca the congenial, and Hilda the fairest and most sophisticated maiden in all of Unova.
16 years have passed since the birth of our messiah. One day he and his group agreed to meet south of Nuvema town in the forest clearing by his decree.
The three kneeled before their Lord and awaited their message.
"The time has come my children, I have opened a path for the three of you to attend the prestigious school of Kobukan Academy. This is a place where the three of you will flourish not only scholastically, but in competence as well. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity you three, do not let me down."
"Hilbert my lord, whatever shall we do without your guidance? This school is in a whole other region far away from your earthly residence." Bianca asked.
"Silence Bianca! Do not question our savior!" Cheren snapped.
"It is alright young Cheren. I have not been offended by her inquiry. To answer your question, young Bianca, I myself will enroll alongside you in attempts to find new disciples to grace with my presence. I will take on the role of a normal student, however some of my tendencies may be odd considering it is very difficult for a deity such as myself to play the role of a normal human. Hilda, I give you the position of keeping me in line when my behavior jumps out as suspicious and non human like."
"Yes, Lord Hilbert." Hilda graciously responded. She was happy to be trusted with such responsibility from a man as mighty as the great Hilbert.
"Go my children. Alert your parents of my decree. We leave at dawn. Oh, and Bianca, if that father of yours gives you any trouble about leaving, alert me immediately. I will set him straight."
With that, Lord Hilbert teleported away to await the next day.
One day passed and the quartet arrived at the gates of the fated destination: Kobukan academy.
"You did a wonderful job selecting a casual outfit, my lord." Bianca complemented.
"Thank you my child, I have even modeled my hat after the one young Hilda dons atop her head. I have also selected clothes that are considered fashionable amongst modern adolescents." Lord Hilbert replied
"I am pleased that you consider my hat trendy enough to be modeled after. However, what do we do now my lord?" Hilda asked, only to realize that her savior had disappeared.
"It would seem he left halfway through your sentence Hilda. I would assume he was no longer interested with the conversation." Cheren clarified.
"I see... well, let us make the messiah proud." Hilda said as she led the trio into the building.
"Wow that girl must be really religious." Red stated overhearing the last bit of Hilda's sentence
Which interrupted his inner monologue as he exited the bus.
"Well as I was saying... thinking rather." Red continued his thoughts
'At first I wasnt so sure...'
The story ends here my friends. To educate yourself on the continuation of Lord Hilbert's tale, you must await the release of Pokemon Academy Life; it is sort of a bible for Hilbertism filled with the conclusion of Lord Hilbert's quest for followers.
Praise our lord: Hilbert; for he is love, he is life. Thank you for reading.